Last updated on November 24th, 2023.
To leave a narcissistic abuser is a scary and daunting thing to do. Some are unsure of any available to begin the healing process, while others have the resources at their leisure but are afraid to do anything and don’t know where to begin.
There are many suggestions on how to leave a narcissistic abuser for good and begin the healing process. These tips can range from creating a plan with a trusted individual to having a solid support system. However it may be, there are reasons why it may be hard to leave a narcissist.
Read more about why it is difficult to leave a narcissist and five tips for victims to enact to leave their abuser finally.
Why Is It Hard To Leave A Narcissist?
A narcissist, in hindsight, is challenging to handle and communicate with, especially within a relationship. Those who want to leave their abusers but are having a hard time figuring out how to go often question why it is difficult to leave someone who is a narcissist.
Read more to learn about the five reasons it is hard to leave a narcissist.
Their charm or knack for making you feel comfortable and secure, in the beginning, can be a relaxing feeling to most that will rope you in before they take your blinders off and show you their true selves. Once you see them for who they are, it can be challenging to come to terms with and believe because of how special they made you feel initially.
Like any abusive or toxic relationship, it can be challenging for the victim to leave the relationship when kids are involved due to wanting to have a home with both parents. Other reasons for the kids can be that the abuser will threaten the victim or use the kids to force the victim to stay in the relationship.
Not Wanting To Be Alone
You fear being alone because you do not know what can happen after your relationship. When in a narcissistic abusive relationship, the abuser will go out of their way to isolate you from your friends and family and convince you that they are the only ones for you.
An abusive partner will use fear tactics to force you to stay in a relationship to ensure they get their way. Empty, verbal threats to actual, physical or sexual abuse are an abuser’s way of reclaiming their power over you and creating an environment full of fear, anxiety, and violence.
Hope For Change
Many victims feel as though if they stay and work through their relationship, in the long run, the abuser will change their ways and see that what they are doing is wrong. They change things about themselves to make the abuser feel good about themselves, hoping that this will spark a change within them, but it rarely does.
For many women, it is hard to detect when it is time to leave a narcissist and start a new life for themselves. Read more about the five instances to know when to leave a narcissist.
How Do You Know When To Leave A Narcissist?
Many instances will be an indication for you to leave a narcissist. Some of these instances can include:
- Sexual abuse.
- Physical abuse.
- Being isolated from friends and family.
- If you have thoughts of self-harm or if your partner is threatening self-harm for wanting to leave or not agreeing with them.
- Excessive jealously.
In taking notice of these red flags within your relationship with a narcissist, the next step is to take steps to leave your abuser. Read more to learn about five tips for leaving a narcissist.
5 Tips For Leaving A Narcissist
Leaving an abusive relationship is terrifying because you are afraid of what could go wrong. There are many ways to leave a narcissistic abusive relationship that can be the jumpstart to learning to heal for yourself.
Here are 5 Tips for Leaving A Narcissist:
- Have A Support System
- Enact a Plan Without Telling the Abuser
- Report Your Abuse to the Proper Authorities
- Do Not Believe What They Are Saying
- Find A Licensed Therapist
Read more about the five tips for leaving a narcissist.
1. Have a Support System
Make sure that you surround yourself with a robust support system to help you get out of this situation. Get into contact with loved ones and tell them about the abuse you have been going through with your partner. While building your support system, remove any toxic relationships from your life.
2. Enact a Plan Without Telling The Abuser
Enact a plan without telling your abuser what is happening. Telling your abuser that you are planning to leave them will give them enough time to intimidate you or coerce you into staying through the act of charm and flattery.
Make copies of documents, collect some spare cash, and ensure that your phone is not being tracked to ensure that you can leave without the fear of your partner finding out and making sure that you have no reason to come back to them.
3. Report Your Abuse To The Proper Authorities
Report your abuse to the proper authorities and medical professionals. Speak to a doctor who can help refer you to a professional for help or go with a friend or family member to your local police department and report your abuse to the authorities. However, notify a trusted friend or family member first if you decide to stop telling a law enforcement officer about your abuse.
4. Do Not Believe What They Are Saying
Do not believe what your abuser is saying. Narcissists are known to be charming, flattering, and liars and can easily entice you to come back to them. Please do not take them back nor give them another chance. This is a tactic for them to further manipulate you into being in a toxic relationship.
5. Find a Licensed Therapist
Look for a licensed therapist to help you start the healing process after leaving your abuser. A therapist can help you identify with your abuse and also become a support system while rebuilding yourself as a person and having healthier coping skills in the long run.
You can find a good therapist even from the comfort of your own home. Online Counseling Services have become much simpler ways of finding therapists and many take insurance.
Need Help With Narcissistic Abuse?
So, need help with healing from narcissistic abuse? There are many programs and classes that you can intend. Melanie Evans’ Program to help Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse focuses on helping victims heal from the abuse that they’ve faced from their narcissist partner. The program also includes learning how to live trauma-free and having self-love and self-confidence.
So, again, these are some tips for leaving a narcissistic abuser. You can also use resources such as Melanie Evans’ Program to assist in recovering from Narcissistic Abuse to help you heal from the abuse you’ve faced.