Last updated on November 25th, 2023.
Understandably, no one wants to deal with a narcissist. It is exhausting and emotionally and physically draining for a loved one trying to leave a narcissistic abusive relationship or friendship. Those in the process of going through this sort of abuse may wonder, on their own time down the line, if there were any red flags, or traits, at the beginning of their correspondence with this person.
There are many different traits of a narcissist. These various traits can either be clear-cut and obvious or very under the radar, purposefully so that the person at hand can use their charm as a manipulation tactic before showcasing their true character.
Keep reading to learn more about the nine different traits of a narcissist.
Available Resources For Help
First off, there is help if you are recovering from narcissistic abuse from a loved one or friend. There are many programs and other resources to help you recover from the trauma of dealing with a narcissist. Read more to learn about two different resources to consider when continuing your healing from narcissistic abuse.
The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program
The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program was created by Melanie Evans, a narcissistic abuse recovery expert. This program provides a step-by-step system for victims of narcissistic abuse to heal from the trauma of their relationship. Other goals within the program include eliminating abuse symptoms, loving yourself and becoming more confident, feeling free and joyous, etc.
Better Help is an online counseling service where, from the comfort of your own home, you will have the ability to speak with a professional counselor about any problems you may have in your own life. These sessions with your counselor do not stop at video sessions, but you will be able to have phone and chat sessions at any time.
With the help of a recovery program or speaking with a professional, licensed therapist to help you recover from narcissistic abuse, it is also essential to understand the different traits that a narcissistic person entails.
Read more to learn about the nine different traits of a narcissist.
The 9 Traits of a Narcissist
A narcissist is a lot to handle and can take a toll on a person’s mental health and become traumatizing. An important aspect when trying to distance yourself from a narcissist is becoming knowledgeable about their different traits to understand why they are the way they are and how to distance yourself from a narcissist properly.
Read more to learn about the nine different traits of a narcissist and to understand how a narcissist becomes a narcissist.
Narcissists will try to control every aspect of your life. This is their way of perfectionism, so going against what they deem to be “perfect” or what you “should” be doing in their eyes will easily upset them because they will take this as a form of rejection and betrayal.
In the beginning, everything seems normal between you and the other person, but as time goes on, they begin to trust you less and will turn to try to have power and control over your every aspect. Their continuous control is a test to see what your breaking point is and if you are trustworthy.
2. Lack of Empathy
There is very little to no empathy from a narcissist. They are often selfishly thinking about themselves and lack to try and understand how the other person is feeling and just the nature of emotions in general. They fail to realize that their actions can cause people to feel the way they do and think that if people do not consider the way they do, then they are wrong.
Take a look at the narcissist and empath relationship cycle to know how these two types of people get along and why.
Narcissists will gaslight and manipulate your feelings to get what they want. They are willing to instigate conflict within friends or family to have control over a situation. This can be as simple as saying words or exemplifying actions that are likely to create conflict.
4. Grandiose Behavior
There is a sense of grandiosity within a narcissist. Everything is about them, and that is how they will see it through their lens, no if, and, or buts. They are entitled and feel as though the world revolves around them, sort of like a God complex, and there is no bringing them down no matter how much you try to convince them otherwise.
5. Overly Sensitive
Narcissists are overly sensitive to criticism or any form of opinion that does not directly align with theirs. Narcissists are not used to being criticized but praised and receiving amounts of validation and justification for their actions. Receiving an ounce of criticism from anyone will result in the person lashing out at the opposing party either verbally or physically.
6. Lack of Boundaries
Narcissists do not understand boundaries nor believe in them. They do not like being told ‘no.’ Instead of taking it with a grain of salt and moving on, a narcissist will go to great lengths to get what they want, whether it be by starting a conflict, stalking, constant lousy mouthing, or any other form of harassment until the other person gives in.
7. Constant Need For Validation and Attention
Attention and validation are a necessity for a narcissist. They have to be the center of attention and want to be seeped with compliments and praise from others to feed their ego. If they receive the opposite reaction, then this upsets them. They often make conversations about themselves to feed their ego further.
8. Feels Threatened
If you “get on their bad side, everything threatens a narcissist.” Any wordage, facial expression, or body language made toward a narcissist can be considered a threat. Even if you try to get back on their good side, it may still not work, and they will take it as a threat and become defensive and lash out.
9. Deflection of Responsibility & Projection
Narcissists love to deflect their wrongdoings onto others, making them the scapegoat. Despite any transgressions they may have done, it is never their fault, and they will blame those closest to them to make themselves seem perfect and more competent and trustworthy.
Often when a narcissist is projecting their feelings or using you as a scapegoat, whatever they are accusing you of, they are 100% doing themselves and are trying to justify their actions without outwardly taking responsibility.
Again, if you need help, do not be afraid to ask for it. Some people can be your support system. Programs such as Melanie Evan’s The Narcissistic Recovery Program and counseling services, such as Better Help, will help guide you through healing from your trauma as a narcissistic abuse survivor.